and then my angel said

and then my angel said:

The Mirror has many faces..
i will find it for you..because
our love is faceless and a
Faceless Love is capable
thus of Seeing The world
in all it's Graces."

to which I replied:

"There were dead things
here before..(within this heart)
until you came knocking on
My Door..and showed me
your angel art."

The pictures that you painted...
oh Love!..I've lived in them since...
walked the Gray sand beaches.. while bleeding beneath the
weeping stars! 

(eager to repent.)

She laughed...before replying:

Never Before. (has the dark so sweetly smiled)

Never Before.
(has the dark so
sweetly smiled.)
________

She lowers
her
eyes against
The
Night's Bleak
Suffocation..

"this is
Torment."

She
Thinks..

(This
Absence
of His
Words.)

The
Darkness
before
has never
Smiled so..

Nor fiercely
clutched
Her Golden
Heart.

(refusing
to let it
Go.)

This is
Madness...
surely..

but the
Cleansing
kind..

which
Frees
The Mortal
Soul!!!

(allowing
it to Shine
More
Purely.)

Madness
fit for
A
Queen
of
Devils
Damned,

who has
Always
been God's
Favorite
Lamb!!

(with
Intentions
White as
The
Morning
Snow.)
____

She is
The
Thin
Thread
of Sanity
He Hangs
From..

that keeps
him from
falling
into His Mind's
Lone Abyss..

and choking
on
The Ashes
of
a Black,
Half-
Dying Sun!

(which
brightens
considerably
when
they Kiss.)

Tis rare
to
be Perfect
for
One Another,
in An
Imperfect
World..

but
With The
Madness
of Their Love
they Save
Each other,

Thus will
Not
Be Defiled!!!


(and never
before has
The Dark So
Sweetly Smiled.)

j.stephen.h.

my one true destiny.

My One True Destiny.
__________________

Sacred Be The
Mysterious Angel
who consumed my
Darkened Eyes,
and replaced them
with Two Stars!..

I shall Love thee
for Eternity.
(as you Kiss away
My Scars.)

This World once
seemed a Wretched
Place, controlled
by an Evil Force..
until I discovered
Her Saving Grace.
(which led me down
a Better Course.)

Now I am A
Man of Light,
who believes
in God's Serenity!..
and wander
(purposefully)
Day and Night..
With Her.

(My One True
Destiny.)

J.Stephen.H.

that smile which owns me still

That Smile which Owns me Still.
________________________

She blushed like
Pretty Madness
when I tore down
the Moon for Her..

then offered it
like a Flower
while reciting
Loving Words..

and
that smile
owns me still!

It is "My
Universe."

And when I
Grin My Monster
Grin..which makes
other Monsters
falter..

she stands
Strong against
the Night
Blossoms
in My Eye's..

like A Saint
before The
Devil's Alter..

who knows the
way Back.

(to Paradise.)

oh,
It's so good to
be weak I have
discovered!


depending less
on a world which
Deceives,
 than the
Heartbeat of Your
Lover!

And so
 Good to die
in
The Presence
of that Smile!

(which owns
owns me still..)

j.s.h.

The Stars (Within) will Live Again.

The Stars (Within) shall Live Again.
_____________________________

I know it's Hard..
when The Sky
seems Dead with
Stars..
and the (fleeting)
Smile of Innocence
reopens Ancient Scars..
as you sit there Lost,
and Scared, wondering
where you are...
or if you will ever mend.

(assuming that anywhere
On Earth must be better
than where you've been.)

But The Angels 
you Curse have Not 
Betrayed You..
The God You Shun
is Listening Still...
thus an Ounce of Faith
could get you through.
(and Restore Your
Broken Will.)

You are Beautiful
because you are
Different...
A Sweet and Sacred
Friend..

so Forget Your 
Past Resentment..
and the Stars
(Within) will
Live Again.

J.Stephen.H.

the unhappiest skeleton

The Unhappiest Skeleton.
_____________________

Oh Forbidden 
Flame..
I have Loved 
You for Years..

The Sun Rises 
in The Memory 
of Your Face!

(while Doomsday 
fills My Wandering
Heart in The 
Presence of Your 
Tears.)

+++

Hell is making
The Same Wish
repeatedly in
Your Head...

 Then
watching The
midnight -days 
dance by
like Unhappy
Skeletons...

(freed from
The Closet of
The Dead.)

and There is 
Nothing Here 
Without You
Love!

(but Sleepless
Nights on A
Cold Half-Empty 
Bed.)

+++

Have you ever
wondered what
it Could Have 
Been?..

If Life were 
not A Thing 
Of Irony.

Or Is The 
Love I
Feel for 
You A 
Sin?!

(And 
The Unhappiest
of Skeletons
Always ME?)

j.s.h.

my favorite electric nightmare.

My Favorite Electric Nightmare.
________________________________

I met this Human
Angel in an Electric
Nightmare.

A Box that Bled Our
Words of Sentiment,
mingled with the kind
of Bittersweet Honesty
which sometimes brought
to Life Those  Once 
Dead Devils in Her
Ethereal Eyes.

The Eternity of a
Second can sometimes
seem less,..when you're
spilling your Guts
to A Familiar Stranger,
while conflicted...
Part of you Not Really
Caring,..(part of you
knowing that it's probably
Dumb To Care) and that
Slight Remainder of your
Half Dead Heart Secretly
Wishing She was Already
There...if only for a Moment..
to Grace you with Her Presence.
(Or consume you with a 
Ravenous Stare.)

This is likely going to be
my Favorite Electric Nightmare,
because there's no expectation..
Hell,..everyone knows how this
shit works.

You just wake up, (to The
Nightmare of The Real.)
and Everything Fades but
the Fractured Memory of
an Eternal Second which
Could Have Been.

(were it not likely so
Dumb to Care.)

J.Stephen.H.

for a.s.

kisses and slaps.

kisses and slaps.
____________

Kisses and Slaps
to the Face..

how they seemingly
gravitate..

To Test The strings
of Hope..

and determine
chance from fate.

or..
Eternity..

From My Soul's
Thanatopian Rope!

(Love Makes Dying
feel great.)

13

what manner of love is this?

What manner of Love is This?
_____________________

What manner of
Man (or Beast)
is this? (she asks.)
Who cringes at
The Thought of Love's
Sweet Kiss!
(yet laments Hell's
smallest Task.)

Such Walking
Contradiction brings
my Weary Soul
Confliction!
(and I don't
know whether to
Cry or Laugh.)

Lo..Beautiful Evil!
I do Declare!
How it can Own
The Majority of People!
(with but a Stare.)

This is "My Truth."
(she says quietly
to herself) Curiosity
is A Hangman's Noose!
And Our Love the
Toller of Death's Bell!

(which shall Rob From
Me The Purity Of My
Youth.)
_

He never wanted
it to Be this Way..
(His Tomorrow The
Murderer of Yesterday.)
but None Escape
Their Starborn Fate!
Thus Darkness is
The Only Answer!
(that whispers softly
when He Prays.)

I must have you!
(he declares.)
In spite the fact
it will likely lead
our Souls to suffering.
For I'm compelled
By Angels Unaware!
(though the Fallen
Kind with Devil
Wings.)
_

Oh..what manner
of Love (or Hate)
is This?
(they ask in Chorus)
Damned By The
Fickle Kiss of Fate!

(that Whore who
stands in Awe Before
Us.)

j.s.h.

a soul unchained.

A Soul Unchained.
________________

I bled My Heart
out, and She Drank
it with a straw..
offering polite
"thanks you's" and
sweet Smiles between
Hungry Sips.

"Damn." she said.
(licking her angel lips.)
"is that really all?!"

"Why..I've never
tasted a Heart as
empty as this!"
(or seen one quite
so small.)

I Laughed Sadly
in a way that seems
to Scare off Tears,
and nodded quietly.

"Yes my Lovely"
(I replied.)
"I'm afraid it's
been this way
for Years."
(This Absence
Deep Inside of Me.)

Then Her Kaleidoscope
Eyes became bandaids
upon my shattered Soul..
eliminating ancient Fears,..
(acquired in The
Devils Hole) and
from that Moment
everything changed..
as if Fate broke The
Fabled Mirror.
(which had kept
My Soul in Chains.)

j.s.h.

every angel wears your face

every angel wears your face.
_________________________

It feels as though
my Mind has given
birth to 100 Angels
who all wear Your
Face..and they're flying
around my Head singing
songs that only the Heart
can understand.

And what brings them
to this place?...The
Inner Mansion of Life's
Darkest Man! (it could
be Nothing Short of Grace.)

Yes Love..
I've hurt you..
and torn half
of Your World
Down..

But There is
Heaven in
Your Virtue!,

which defeats
The Hell of
Former Frowns!

I feel the workings
of a Higher Fate..
leading us to This
Mysterious Garden
where Angels and
Demons Congregate..

and it is Here My
Love!

(that every angel
wears your Face.)

J.Stephen.H.

Oh My Flame.

Oh My Flame.
_______________

Oh My Flame..
You have Kissed
White the Crimson
Scars of War,..
and replaced
(with Light) The
Shadow Of My
Shame.

So that Death
I Am (and crave)
No More!!

and Gone is
The Constancy
of My Pain!

I will Love You
till My Soul
ceases wandering
from One Corpse
to the Next..

(spending  every
Moment with You
In My Head)

and if ever By My
Cruelty you are
made to Weep
may I be Vexed!!

(For Your Tears
are The Only Thing
which could Truly
Strike Me Dead.)

J.Stephen.H.

in verse my love you are eternal.

In Verse (My Love) You Are Eternal.
_____________________________

Why Pick
Roses
I know shall
Die?

What Testament
to Love
would
such Deed Be?

A Symbol of
Beauty fading
before The
Human Eye!

(choked by
The Blacker
Thorns of
Our
Heart's Reality.)

But ...
In Verse
(My Love)
You are
Eternal..

(when cast
into
The Social
Mind.)

whether
Angelic,
or Infernal!

(My Pen
Your
Name shall
soon
Immortalize!)

j.stephen.h.

waiting for loves most sacred moment.

Waiting For Love's

Most Sacred Moment.

________________

Last Night,..I
died in You..
and, (in spite
My Darkness)
Followed your
Heartbeat down
A winding
Tunnel which
led My Soul
Towards The
End's Blinding
Light..

as Your
Laughter
melted the
Melancholy
of every Devil
in The Room.

(and made their
Spirits Bright.)

I never before
would have
believed, that
A Single Kiss
could make Time
seem like an
Absurd Myth that
Believers (Frozen
in Love's most
Sacred Moment.)
joke about because
they realize (in
their Faithful Minds)
The World has been
Deceived.

(nor would I
ever have guessed
that such an Angel
would choose to
share The Moment
with "Me.")

_

and Last Night,
I was resurrected
beneath the fabrics
of sweat soaked sheets..
as the Bleak Tragedy
of My Life passed by..
like useless Memories
which no Longer taunt
That Scared Child who
hid (for so long) behind
His Impenetrable Wall
of  Grief!!

(waiting for Love's

Most Sacred Moment.)

so..thank you.

( I now Believe.)

J.Stephen.H.

The Hateful Thread of Fate.

The Hateful
Thread of Fate.

__________________

It Kills Me

to See..

Two Souls

dressed in

Bitter Skins

of Secret

Midnight

Tragedy...

sewn by

The Hateful

Thread of

Fate;

and Love
could

have been

Reality!

(were I

not A

Member of

Hell's Estate.)

×

I've watched

This Clock so

long The Hands

have grown Eyes

which stare deeply

Into My Hearts

Abyss...

waiting on a

Paradise
(that never

comes) to
Reveal

itself Through
The

Shadow of Love's

Kiss!

But I will not

allow Loneliness

to become the

Architect of My

Discontent. (nor

Inspire Existential

Dread.)

I shall merely

shed my bitter

skin instead,..

at Peace with

The Skeletons

in My Head!

(While Hoping
that

Time Fate

provides a Finer

Thread.)

j.s.h.

stale cliches

How hard it must be..
to fill your heart with
stale cliches,

because you cannot
grasp the meaning of
what it Means to feel
"The Flame."

what it felt like

what it Felt Like Yesterday.
_____________________

I'm sorry Love,..but
(to keep it minimalistic)
I've simply forgotten
what Happy Was...

How it Feels To Smile
in Mirth (or Joy)...

or appreciate the Beauty
of A Summer Day...

but You must Believe me
when I Say:

"I Never wanted it
to End This Way."

(With Two Hearts Dead
before they Hit the Dirt,
and Not a Soul around who
Cares to Pray.)
________

I see The Point of your
Hatred,

but it is a Pointless Point
which only Points in A
Single Tormented Direction...

DOWN...

So Far down you can
no longer be Grateful
that your Heart will
ALWAYS be Sacred!!

(Though Broken Sadly
By A Clown.)

__

I Imagine that My Words
no Longer fill Your Head...

(and Damn does that ever
Feel So Empty..)

as you sit daily contemplating
me Dead!

(yet even then I still feel
Blessed you would Consider
Me An Enemy.)

_

I'm sorry Love...but
(to be Honest)
there isn't much more
I can say..

My Head is a Cave
where Shadow Dance...
Miracles Die,..

and Every Day feels
like The End Upon
Us!

where I just wish I could
Remember!

(what it Felt Like
Yesterday...)

J.Stephen.H.

the purity of hate

The Purity of Hate.
______________

I can honestly
say I hate you
too..with a Purity.

For all of
the deception
and falsity...

The Midnight
Games played
against hapless
Minds.

( who do not
realize the mire
into which they're
jumping.)

Oh well though.

Better Them than
Me.

(I suppose.)

 lol

j.stephen.h.

about last night (if only in my dreams)

About Last Night.
(If Only In My Dreams.)
____________________

Oh..about Last Night..

I know now why they
call it a Blind Date.

(for I was Blinded
by Your Beauty at
First Sight.)

You have A
very Hungry
Stare.

The kind that
could Drink One's
Soul in in A
Matter of Seconds.

(and leave it
drowning in
your Lone
Hearts' Glare.)

I don't know
where this will
lead,

but I will try
my Best to be
Cautiously
Optimistic,..

Because Last
Night you showed
me What I Need!!

(with the spontaneity
of your Kisses.)

You
(My Sweet)
are one of
The Loveliest
Walking Tragedies
I Have Ever seen,..

and I Hope
(To Heavens
Fleet) We
Meet again!

(IF Only In My
Dreams.)

J.Stephen.H.

The Extremes of Love.

the extremes of love.
_______________

Two Forces constantly
gravitating between
negative and Positive
Extremes..

Creating An absurd
polarity.

(which strangely
excites me.)

I imagine (at times)
that her lips would
be like Fists..

Throwing Kiss-Punches
to defeat me during
moments of dispute.

Revealing A Self
Defensive Rage,
which leads to
amorous bliss!

(or..chaos creating
it's own Version of
The Truth.)

But while such
alternating currents
attract, they also
stick together until
They Explode.

And I truly
do not want
that.

(thus beauty
should leave the
beast alone.)

j.s.h.

in this hell i make

In This Hell I Make.
________________

I suppose there's
soon to be another
Romantic Death
Match.

Cruel words,
(and soulful
ironies) exchanged
between two
Flames.

(still wondering
Why Love Their
Drove them Mad.)

I know this
Reality well
enough..because
(in Part) I
perpetuate it.

I just seem
to have a knack
for making
Roses smell
like Shit..

and I am
an Addict..
make no
Mistake.

A junkie
for This Love
I should
Forget!..

Resigned to
Chaotic Fate!!

Yet..Forever
I shall gladly
burn!!

(In This Hell
I Make.)

j.stephen.h.

the ode of nevermore.

The Ode of Nevermore.
________________

Ah..Forget about
Forevermore My
Sweet Adored.

(since "Nevermore"
now seems to
answer best The
Question I implored.)
_

In Dreams I
see The Mortal
End of Me,..

Standing Lonely
in God's Courthouse
Weeping,..

and never were
More Tragic
Scenes so Laughed
at By an Angel Jury!

(especially when I
tried to Plead The
Insanity of Being
Born "Half-Guilty.")

_

I can only Hope
Beyond Hope,

( My Hangman's
Rope)

that I never
again lend my
Heart to thee,..

for All of My
Love went up
in smoke!

(Torched by
The Hateful Flames
of Destiny.)
_

so Forget
Forevermore
My ONCE
Adored..

(For Nevermore
now seems The
Answer I was Always
Looking For.)

j.stephen.h

a one man purgatory

A One Man Purgatory.
_______________

I feel Dead..
(Hell, Deader
than Dead.)

With Love
A Mere
Purgatory In
My Head..

This cracked
egg which seeps
Romantic Sentiment.

(debating
Everything I
Should have
Said.)
_

It's like I'm
being Mocked
by a Heartless
Timekeeper..

who has stolen
Cupids Golden
Bow,

placing it into
The Skeletal
Hands of that
Grim (and dreaded)
Reaper!!
_

Oh, (In Truth)
The Patience of
My Heart is but
a Fable!,

and I must have
you back My Love!!

(The Moment
you are Able.)
_

Please...

Let Not Our
Fated Love now
Be a One Man
Purgatory!

Filled with
Romantic Sentiments!

(that could have
told a Better Story.)

j.stephen.h.

my words shall never be deceased

my words shall never be deceased
___________________

I imagine (Tonight) they were
expecting tragedies to pour from
me...sad sonnets soaked in doom
and double dipped with words of
Irony.

Perhaps a description of Hell
contained in A Human Heartbeat?...

(This Soul caged, and feverish
with wanting.)

But I've spent half the night laughing
at memories of old nightmares,
that once left me curled up in the
bathtub scared..drunk on whatever
cheap, rot-gut whiskey I could find..

Perhaps I'm evolving?..or just
losing (what's left of) my mind?

(or perhaps I simply don't Care
This Time.)

_

Oh Poetry..how I love thee..
for (with you) I am capable of
Anything!

With Words I  make grim
devils blush..

Or write Sonnets of Love.

( inspiring Angels to
Shed Their Wings.)

You have always been there..
in some form or fashion..
as a constant in my thoughts,
transcending the Monotony
of Life's Interactions.

You guided me through My
First Kiss!..

Consoled my Heart when it
was Broken!..

While Honoring the Dead
I Love, and Miss!

(So With you, there truly are
no Limits..and my Soul
Finds Satisfaction.)

_

Yet I imagine they expect me to
cease...

To Drop my Pen and Fade
like a Whisper..

(Drowning
in a Sea of Screams.)

But I would just as soon
Die!!

And even then...

(MY WORDS SHALL
NEVER BE DECEASED.)

J.Stephen.H.

your new home

The Heaven of your Perfect Form.
_____________________________

you certainly have
a style all your own..
and your face creates
a poem..like this lost
garden where angels
roam.. tearing up paper
silhouettes of demonic
comedians.

(for all the world to see)
_

May My Heart 
Be Your New Home
My Sweet!..with rose
floors, rainbow
ceilings...

and birds flying
freely without 
cages..

Where no one ever
weeps, and children
do not lose the innocence
in their faces!
_


I love the way this
feels...

like making loving
during an electric
storm..

My Cup Truly runneth
over..

(to the point it Spills)

and I would be happy
Forever..

Knowing the Heaven
of Your Perfect Form!!

(before which I kneel.)

J.Stephen.H.

if any of this was real

if any of this was real.
___________________

I tell myself that it was
all a dream..

The Letters?, (and your
smile) mere figments
of my imagination.

(ghosts who live and
Die Repeatedly in My
Head.)

The smell of perfume
lingering in the room
is nothing..

You were never Here..
never "real".

Every glorious touch was
but a longing fabrication of
my saddened senses..

seeking what cannot..
( or "could not") Be.
_

This Nightmare quickens
upon my awakening..
when I see the dented
pillow where I imagine
your head once laid..

and that simple sight
triggers memories stronger
than photography..

but colder now than a
dead mans laugh!...

because it all comes
back to me..

(and I realize I have
"imagined" you gone.)
_

I rant away in my isolation..

A Solitary Voice bouncing
hysterically off hateful, gray
walls that seem to mock
me with their grim indifference..

no tears, pleas..nor petty
midnight terrors can effect
them..

because they've truly "seen
it all"..

watched The Devil repent..

as Angels lost their faith..

(or Chose to Fall.)

and Phantoms chased children
down dusty, poor-lit halls!

This is Hell..I Imagine..

but I cannot imagine it getting
any better..

for There is No Imagining
Hope..

and Hope I'm afraid.. is The
Greatest Pretender!

now Phantom..

Fiend!

(Or Wraith.)
_

I tell myself to wake
up..

but I simply awaken
into another nightmare..

A Solitary Head Drowning
in the Sweet Stench of Ghostly
Perfume..that I imagine you
would have worn.

(if any of this was
Real.)

j.stephen.h.












J.Stephen.H.

the clock now smiles instead.

The Clock Now Smiles Instead.
________________________

One Fated Kiss
can make an Eternity
of A Single Second..
as My Heart breaks
the Face of Every
Frowning Clock..
yet..

can any Beast pick
a Delicate Flower,
and still preserve
the Beauty of That
Flawless Rose?..

without drowning
in The Memory
of every Sad Bloom
which died before?!
(or Froze.)
_

Her Eyes sing to
Sleep The Nightmares
In My Head..

turning Monsters
into Happy Men,
who seek Life
Forever in This
Land
of Wandering
Dead.

And I shall Love
Her..For every
Eternal Second!

with No Regret!..

Because our
Soul is One,..
and Timeless!!!

(thus the Clock
now Smiles
instead.)

J.Stephen.H.

romantic madness

Their bodies danced like
Romantic Madness beneath
sweat soaked sheets..
Her Catlike half-Grin
filling his Head with
Golden Dreams.

"Take me my love!"
The Angel sighed.

(in a Breathless Voice
Beyond Sweet.)

He took her wrists
and  quickly pinned
them behind her head..
causing her eyes to
widen in pleasant
surprise, as if his
gesture had awakened
feelings once lost.
(or dead.)

a eulogy for dead stars

a eulogy for dead stars.
_________________

She has long since
said a Eulogy for
Those Dead Stars, (that
once shone above her)
and burned every
Passionate Love Letter.

(which reminded her of
Her Scars.)

They haven't left
her eyes though,..
and it's amazing to
see how she laughs
( in spite of sorrow)
as if the greatest Blessing
/Joke in Life is the
Uncertainty of Tomorrow!

(whether  it brings Comedy
or  Strife.)

So..The Sky is not
a Cemetery,..or this
Universal Sanitarium
created by a Half-Mad
architect, (three thoughts
shy of Total Insanity)
who constructs Reality
from afar.

No!...It is a Canvas
of Fathomless Possibility!
That does not End in
a Eulogy.

(For Every Star.)

J.Stephen.H.

oh what a thrill

Oh What a Thrill.
______________

Oh what a Thrill..
to be in the presence
of her Grace..

for Time no
longer seems
like A Mockery
that I Kill!

(and the Clock
reveals a Smiling
Face.)

Pictures no longer
melt upon the wall
of hateful memory..

words of love..
no longer Cut.

Oh..what a Thrill,
to have her Next
to Me!

(with the door
of my Heart No
Longer Shut.)

Thank you
Goddess for
showing me..

The path which
leads to better
Stars.

I sincerely
believe that you
are My Destiny!

and I will
be with you.

(anywhere you
are.)

J.S.H.

for: Nardine.

let fly what must

let fly what must
____________

I say: let fly
what must angel
of mine,

to make dust
of Pearls.

(and Swine.)

Tis The Day..
(this day.)

For casting
away  all
sentimental
notions.

(into another
time.)

Some fools
cannot read
between the
Lines..

(others are
Empty Books.)

Because it
helps them to
Define..

Those lost things
for which they
look!

I say:

let fly what
must...

(Angel of
Mine.)

j.stephen.h

candy nights and dandelion death.

Candy Nights and Dandelion Death.
_____________________________

I keep an image of her in my mind,
until the Angel's Face burns away
everything dark like a force akin to
Daylight...chasing Demons back to
that tight-locked place where they're
no longer capable of feasting on
my Shame.

She makes the Night taste like Candy,
and Death has the smell of Dandelions
growing mysteriously in the crisp air
of some long ago winter. (once buried
in memory.)

and Yes..I realize this Love might
kill us.. as we hide here in sweet
fantasies. (but I cannot think of
anywhere else I'd rather Be.)



j.stephen.h.

butterfly whispers.

butterfly whispers.
_______________

She floats around
in the world like
a butterfly..whispering
praise where needed..

as anxiety reaps
the night air..or creeps
amongst the Daylight
hours like a deadly
poisoned flower..

she is There..
in Grace..

(hour after Hour.)

and the fear inside
which slept?

it has gasped it's final
breath!

For Her love makes
me immortal.

(untouched by
Pain and Death.)

j.stephen.h.

dead flowers

Dead Flowers.
_____________

Sometimes Love
you strike me as
the type..

who would kill
a Flower.

(just to Kiss
it Back To Life.)

and it truly
fascinates me..
to think..

that I die 1,000
times a night!

(drowning in
The Darkness
of your Eyes.)
_

You make
devils blush..
and for this..
I willfully offer
you My Heart.

(to Crush.)

j.s.h.

beyond the midnight hour.

beyond the midnight hour.
_________________

My Head Splits
and Bleeds out
Thoughts of You ,
beyond The
Midnight Hour.

Suffocating The
Stare of Dawn
like a Shadow
Substance.

(revealing
memories the
dark had once
devoured.)

Do you ever
Feel My
Screams?

Reaching out
for you in Angel
Dreams?

to Penetrate that
Wall of Silence,
built by Secret
Things!

(who grow
more protective
by the day
it seems.)

I sought a
savior once
before..

in a pair
of lovely
emerald
eyes..

but gone
is the beauty
i adored!

(who left
my cold heart
crucified.)

and now..
here I am..
searching
with all of
my power..

for a love
to mend my
broken head..

which bleeds
out dreams of
you.

(beyond the
midnight hour.)

j.stephen.h.

the rules of love.

The Rules of Love.
____________

(And here we
are again)
Breaking The
Rules of Love.
(like so much
senseless grammar.)

Your Heart?
(a glove.)
My Own?
(A Hammer.)

Kissing..
(as we War)
and Missing
(when Absent)
Those Stars
we oft implore!
(to Shine Upon
Our Madness.)

Nothing in Us
is Pretend..and
(I like to Think)
less Scars are Made.
(than the amount of
Cuts our Love Shall
Mend.)

You Beat  your
Head  against
The Wall,
(in an act of
Loving)

and I Laugh
(sadly) at the
Horror of it All!

(For without the
Horror of my Heart
I'm truly Nothing.)

J.Stephen.H.

into this garden.

 (((( Into this Garden.))))
     ____________
Come with me,
into This Garden...
Taste the Bloody
Roses..and Smell
the Ashen Thorn!!..

Then see..
"My Symbol."

(Endless Death
through Strife
Reborn.)

There is an Old
Serpent Devouring
it's Own Tail..
Ouroboros..
Cyclic Perpetuity.

(Of Constant Hell.)
_

Damned for Infinity
is My Trinity!..
Those Grim Fates!..
That Fearsome Three!

(one of whom by
Necessity compels,
the Reaper to Toll
His Dreaded Bell.)
_

But Oh How I
Love Thee Weeping
Razor Willow,..
Thou Art My
Favorite Tree!,..
Cutting Through
The Wind that
Blows!

(across the tear
stained eaves.)
_

Yet this Barren
Life grows more
fruitful now..
though it was
once A Disease..

A Crown of
Tares atop My
Brow!

(which brought
Pain Without
Release.)
__

From whence
came Thee,..
Goddess of
The Under-Land?

It seems thou
appeared quite
Magically!..

Like a Skeleton
Key Within My
Hand!

(opening The
Door to Serenity,
bringing Peace
unto the Land.)
__

May Thou stay
with me In This
Garden Always..

For Thorns do
Blush, as Roses
Grow for Thee!!

"You"...
The Symbol
of Better Days!!

Who Breeds
Heavens Perpetuity!

(devouring thus
that Hellish Snake.)

J.Stephen.H.
_________________

The rather Fantastical, Unrealistic Nature
of this piece shall become quite evident to
all of you who read; but I could not find it
within myself to alter this work in anyway
to conform to the Present Circumstances
of My (now) Loveless Reality.

Have you ever been trapped in a Second
that seemed..like a Dreaded Eternity?...
Or felt the Absence of Light within you
So deeply that Nothing short of Grace
could restore your tranquility?

Daily I fret and pace the Floors, giving
audience to a Team of Phantoms who
are simultaneously my Greatest Muses,
and The Perpetuators of My Grief.

But..this is Art isn't it?....
A Reflection of Ones
Heart carved indelibly upon
whatever Canvas they choose
to Make of their Life.

Heaven and Hell are both
revealed to me in my current
strain..and it is with trepidation
that I now re-enter.

that dreaded Cave.
(Alone)

kiss my ass Destiny...
(thou art a Dog without
a Bone.)

XIII...

shall we see how far
the Phantoms lead
dear readers?

as i sit here on my fallen star.

As I sit Here On My Fallen Star.
_________________________

Love..(you know who you are.)
This is my confession to you.
(as I sit here on My Fallen Star.)

Yes..I am a Monster...
Yes..I am a Fiend...
Yes I eat Your Laughter.
(YES I KILL YOUR
DREAMS.)

Yes I am a Heathen,
eager to consume..
The Holy Words of
Heaven.

(reflecting
Hellish Doom.)
_

I'm sorry that I could
not Be the Love you
Hoped to Find.

Sorry There's no
Destiny. (Within this
World of Swine.)

Yes I am a Man of Sin...

Who can Imitate The
Saints.

Yes I let the Darkness
Win.

(and YES the Darkness
taints.)
_

I'm sorry Love for
everything..as I sit
here on My Fallen
Star.

But I must End my
Suffering.

(Or Choke Forever
On My Scars.)

XIII

A Letter to My Love. (from the bottomless pit of my heart.)

A Letter to My Love.
(from the bottomless
pit of my heart.)
_________________

I was going to begin this
piece with the Novel
expression: "From the
Bottom of my Heart"..
but such a sentiment would
be grossly inaccurate in
describing the  depths of
my Love for you.

(Because You make
my Heart A Bottomless
Pit.)

So..My Love..from the
Bottomless Pit of My
Heart, I Love you with
a depth no words can
fill!

You are so Unique, that
no classic images of Angels
or Goddesses called forth
in the Mind can do Justice
to the Ideal you represent.

You are: Hope, Redemption,
Grace, Certainty, Tranquility,
Beauty, Salvation, and Perfection
all contained within the wondrously
Divine Image of a Single Person;
Offering my Lone Soul a Reprieve
from the desperate sense of isolation
which has Haunted Me so many
years of shadowy Life.

And I realize (with all due humility)
that it is by grace alone that
you choose to stand by Me during
those Dark Moments when I'm
torn between My Shadow Self,
and the Finer Aspects of My Nature.

I WILL defeat this Thing within
which tries to destroy the sacred
blessings that I've come to know
in your Presence.

For in You I've found the Noblest
Muse, and am empowered by
Forces greater than my Weaker
Self to Overcome the Darkness,
and Build Mansions in My Heart
for All of the Watching World to
See.

I shout your Name from Rooftops
Love!!

(From the Bottomless pit of
My Heart.)

j.stephen.h.

A Wondrous Garden.

A Wondrous Garden.
_______________

Not long ago, I
was ready for
The Dirt..and
Death stood
knocking on
My Hearts
Closed Door..

but thankfully
Love answered
First!

(To show me
Worlds I had
never known
Before.)
__

Her Smile
challenges The
Devils in My
Head..

asking them
to Dance,..

while filling my
Thoughts with
Angels instead!

(Transforming
Ancient Horrors
into Romance.)
_

Now the Dirt
is a Wondrous
Garden..

Where Flowers
Bloom from
The Once Dead
Earth..

and My
Darkened
Heart (by this
Goddess) is
Pardoned!

So that I
May Witness
now My Souls
Rebirth.

J.Stephen.H.

(for Nardine..
Finitum ad Infinitum.)

down the crimson halls.

Down the Crimson Halls.
__________________

Down the crimson
halls I hear...
insanity..scratching
it's name across
the walls.
(in mocking-cheer.)

"come closer...
closer little lamb."
(the Shadow soothes.)

"into the parlor
of the Damned."

(where Broken
Flowers lie
Abused.)
_

Here it's always
so damn cold..
so empty,..Dark..
and stripped of
Purpose.

Thus It matters not
what Romantic Myths
The Angels Told!

(in the End One's
Heart is Worthless.)
__

Down these Crimson
Halls I tread...
with babbling voices
in my Head..

writing Curses
on The Wall..
(inspiring
Mortal Dread.)

while Hoping
that I do not Fall!

(into the Parlor
of The Dead.)

j.stephen.h.

a madman

a madman.
______________

Once upon a time
I was a Madman...
fretting to and fro..
in a room full of smoke..
and Ghosts.

The cold walls
alone could not
contain the insanity
in my Head;
no matter how much
they screamed.
(or bled.)
_

Then,
Love found me,
in my Crazed state,
and restored my
sanity. (before it
was too late.)

Now the World
is Perfect..and
Beautiful.

(a Paradise
full of Grace.)

j.stephen.h.

This is LIFE.

This is Life.
(a poem formed from
a conversation with a Friend.)
___________________

You make me remember
My Youth...

When romance freshly
blossomed..

this is it...

(I am Happy)...

This is LIFE...

A Friend has found Love!..

while the other looks on in
pleasure and envy..

(simultaneously)

Giving thanks to God for his
own Blesse'd Partnership.

This is LIFE...

Nothing more, nor less...

exchanging good feelings through
a Happy medium...

this is it...

(LIFE.)

In the 21st Century...

With LOVE a Sacred Muse...

Show me...my friend..

(how Beautiful she is to You.)

at your own leisure..

for I am a third party here..

And this is LIFE.

(May you Live it in
Good Cheer.)

-Sandeep Trichal.-

(edited and formatted
by J.Stephen.H.)

your smile

Your Smile Haunts
me like a Pretty
Ghost who strangely
sings my Heart to
Life once More.

moonlight sonata

Moonlight Sonata.
______________

Angels Bleed 
from The Strings..
so Beautifully.

On this
Moonlit Night
Without Suffering..
in which I'm Free!

to meditate on
Love's Delight.

(which has recently
found me.)
_

Oh..If I live to
be Timeless..
this shall Go
Down in History..
as the Inspiration
which brings forth..
(my Souls Release.)

J.Stephen.H.

my love. (because of thee.)

My Love,

Because of Thee,..
No more do Phantoms
stalk my Heart,..
or fill my Head with
Horror Scenes!

(for you have
replaced them
with Angelic
Dreams.)

Never before
has such Love
come upon me..
that I sat breathless
at my Writing Desk..
trapped in  perfect
Thoughts of thee..
recalling the words
of 100 Dead Men!

(who Live Forever
as Poetic Saints within
my Restless Memory.)

Love...
MY Love!!!

Because of Thee..
The Nightmare Days
I once had know..
shall be My Greatest
Dreams!

(now..and for
Eternity.)

J.Stephen.H.

For you Nardine,
my perfect Love..
my One and
Everything...
My Godsent
Messenger
from above!!

(who has Eased
My Grim Soul's
Suffering.)

a Forgotten song...

a forgotten song...
_______________

he forgets the sacred
day..

and months?

they are the travesties
which separate a beast..

(from saints
who pray.)

forever was another life..

another time.

a Mockery which spites..

Every Man.

(foolish enough to dream.)



so what if you found
god?

many others have lived
for centuries,.. dying only to be
lost.

Everyone's A fraud...

(too Proud to Pay The
Cost.)
_

what style is this you cast
before them?

i think that truthfully you
make it all up..

as you wander along.

None can admit it's ALL
PRETEND.

(with each soul singing a
Unique Song.)
_

what day is it?..

how LONG have i been
here?

many more Forever's shall
pass!

and be SHIT!!

(with Tomorrow remaining
a Forgotten Song.)
_

j.stephen.h.

death by promise.

death by promise.
__________________

Somewhere between
here, there, and all-
wheres; she waits like
patient death ..to kill me
with her smile.

(which makes an empty
promise.)

yet I crave the poison of
those kisses!..

like a stately midnight
masochist..cutting himself
merrily on the razors of
her eyes!
________

Dying sucks..
I know because i have died
so many times i no longer
count the ways there are to
die.

i just know it sucks...
more and more each time.

(but i would gladly
let her kill me...yes..gladly...
a death -by- promise!..
or passionate suicide..
for all the world to see.)

j.stephen.h

the sun shines not upon her absence.

the sun shines not upon her absence.
_____________________________

the sun shines
not upon her
absence..

nor do roses
in the graveyard
bloom.

so once
again i'm drawn
to madness..

(controlled by
voices on the
moon.)
_

what force
compels
my heart to
venture..

towards this
beauty never
met?

and how is it
that i "know"
her splendor??

without
ever Feeling
One regret!
_

the morning
speaks on her
behalf..

as she lays
there restless,
never sleeping..

and Red birds
sing each time
she laughs!

(but comes
the rain when
she is weeping.)
_

the sun
shines not
upon her
absence..

nor do roses
in the graveyard
bloom.

for
she is
The Cure
to heal
My Madness.

(and silence
those Voices
on
The Moon.)

j.stephen.h.


the inspiration for
this poem was taken
from the song: ain't no
sunshine when she's gone,
by bill withers; and the
walt whitman poem:
when lilacs first in
churchyards bloom'd.

ty nardine..
you are a muse.

the games eternal eye.

The Games Eternal Eye.
_________________
So Tired of the
Game's
Eternal Eye;

which breaks
a lying
Maidens Mind.

Laughing at
Unpainted
Walls of Shame!!

(In A Dungeon
where
True Love remains
Confined.)
_

And All of this,
which
Bleeds from Her?..

I've seen Apes
Mock
Kindly with Their
Praise Before!

Yet Love kills
quickest
as a Verb!

(and I My Love
shall
DIE NO MORE.)

_

Paint your Sad
Deceptions
On Another Wall
of Shame.

Mine is full
by
Consequence.

(So Tired of
The
Senseless Game!)

The Lies Eternal
Eye..

(blinks no more.)

J.Stephen.H.
__________________________

That Beauty by The Lake.

That Beauty By The Lake.
______________________

I saw her standing
By The Lake.
(Her dreamy Eyes
but half awake.)
Looking for a
Hand to Hold..
or Love to Find.

(some Heart to
Break.)

"Why,
what Star
did you Fall
From??
(I asked.)
As I Offered
Her Dead Flowers.
(as she Broke
Into A Laugh.)

"It Truly Matters
Not!" (she said.)
"Within a Universe
So Vast."

+

Hearing this I
briefly wondered,
what sort of
Spell could I
be Under?

So compelled
I was to make,
advances toward
this Beauty By
The Lake.

(unaware My
Soul was now
at Stake.)
++

Yet Horror Worst
could not describe,
the look of Dread
which Filled Her
Eyes,.. when I took
her trembling hand
in mine, and asked
if she would like
to Dine.

"I like you sir."
(she soon replied.)
"and though you
have an Honest Face,
I must confess I'm
occupied, and cannot
leave this Wretched
Place."

"For surely I would
Die!!!"

(Then Tears
streamed down
The Angels
Face.)

+++

" Whatever do
you mean My
Dear?

(I asked with
Mounting
Inner-Fear.)

"This seems
a rather peaceful
place, and it's
Truly Lovely
Here!"

("Beside this
Tranquil Lake.")

++++

"Oh, Beauty is oft A
Sad Appearance,
concealing Pain
few Souls can Fathom,
Lovely at some
far off Distance,
but closer thus
a Midnight Phantom!,
straight from Hell's
own Chasm!"

(My Beauty Sad
replied.)

+++++

I shook my
Head in Stark
Denial..
contemplating
this a while..
unaware that
as I Pondered,
Darkness crept,
and soon Defiled!

(Love's Image that
once Drove my
Heart so Wild.)

++++++

"Curse You then
You Devil- Child,
I will not venture
here too long!"

"Curse your Beauty,
and your Charm,
which would have
made my Spirits
Strong!!"

(Lo, Misery now
shall Be My Only
Song.)

+++++++

After this My
Beauty Wept,
and Cast herself
into The Lake..

Where once
Leviathan
schemed
and Slept,..
but Now is
Wide Awake!

And I am
Damned!..

Damned!!
it seems.

(For feeding
her to that
Snake.)

++++++++

Oh, Never..
Never again!!
(for Any God, or
Mortal's Sake.)
shall I try to
lend..

My Heart..


(To That
Beauty By
The Lake.)

J.Stephen.H.

the stars were never mine to give.

The Stars were Never mine to Give.
_____________________________

The Stars
were never
Mine My
Love.

Nor intended
to comfort
anyone.

They are
merely

"Rocks"
that Shine
Above.

(Like
Broken
Pieces of
The Sun.)
_

YOU were
The Wish
I made before
A Bright and
Secret Force,

who bailed
the Moment
I declared
You were my
One Adored.
_

I am Not
a Thief of
Hearts,

who left
The Moment
of a Spat,

But I
SHALL
remain
A Shadow
Dark.

(who
always
wonders
where
you're at.)
_

The Stars
were never
mine to Give,

They are
for Those
who still
Believe..

That LOVE
is something
One Must GIVE,
and Share!!!!

(without Deceit.)
_

My Heart
is all I've
ever had,
but sadly
it's Not
Worthy.

For if
it was
I'd Not
be Sad.

(and you
would NOT
Desert me.)

J.Stephen.H.

the essence of my art.

The Essence of My Art.
____________________

For The 
Longest 
Time,.Words 
were literally 
all  that I had.

But Now..
(because 
of you)
Beauty is 
Truly Possible. 
_

Before You,..
Art was My Pain.

The Thorn
in My Side
which Others
mistook to
be a Rose,
because they
could not
see Beyond the Surface
of My Pretty
Prose.
_

I'm glad
you saw
The Hidden
Dark,
and cast
Light into
it.

My Lovely
Fisher of
The Night,
who caught
Candle-Sharks
swimming
in This
Grim and
Desolate
Lake..then
Promised
never to
Throw me
Away!

(I have Truly 
been Saved by 
your Loving 
Grace.)
_

You are
The World 
to Me..

that which
makes
Any Reality
seem worth 
Seeing..

(yet also
the Substance
of Life's Finest
Dreams.)

and The 
Love I have 
(For You) 
swelled within
My sewn up 
Heart,.. until it 
broke The 
Poisoned 
Memory-Seams!!!
_

So Thank
You (Goddess)
for Making 
True Beauty
Possible.

You are The 
Essence of 
My Greatest 
Art!

(once shaped
By Pain Unstoppable.)

J.Stephen.H.